


that's how love is

by cashewnuts



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: DearM, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Jaehyun is tired, M/M, but taeyong is there for him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:28:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29401254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cashewnuts/pseuds/cashewnuts
Summary: Endless shoots, filming daily, schedules upon schedules—Jaehyun is exhausted. One night, he finds himself coming apart at the seams owing to the vexation boiling in his system. Luckily, Taeyong helps him mend his fragmented pieces, one by one, until he's whole once again.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 6
Kudos: 92





	that's how love is

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday jaehyun !! (and happy valentine's day everyone !!) 
> 
> i apologize in advance for any mistakes :>

"Cut! That's a wrap for today!" 

Jaehyun closes his eyes in relief as the sound of the director's voice rings in his ears. He feels his muscles cripple in exhaustion because finally, he'll be home again in less than an hour. He's been filming for the past 18 hours, and been out of their dorm for 20, and for that he can feel the absolute relent in his system with the thought of having to leave home again in six hours even before he gets to his bed, but who is he to complain? 

He feels a hand on his shoulder as he greets the staff and crew in gratitude, and when he turns around, his lips form into a smile. 

"You did well today, Jaehyun-ah." 

Jaehyun raises his hand into a fist bump and says, "You too, hyung." 

Lee Jinhyuk stands beside him as they both greet the rest of the staff goodbye. It had been a long day for all of them, a lot longer due to the unforgiving weather of Seoul that dropped to -5° right as the sun set. He spent the entire day in front of cameras, repeating takes to film various angles or when one of the casts made a mistake. Jaehyun tried his best to minimize his errors—by practicing his lines on the way to a schedule, internalizing Cha Minho's character before he drifts to sleep, and everything else an actor does to prepare for his role—but with the way his schedule is mapped out, both as an actor and an idol, he's pretty much drained to the core already. 

Jaehyun and Jinhyuk walk towards the artists' tent where they usually stay when they're on a break or when they're not needed for a scene and bid goodbye to the other actors and actresses starring in the drama. Jaehyun cranes his neck to the side, and the older among the two notices how his subtle action made a slight cracking sound that even he couldn't ignore. 

"Woah, you must be worn out," Jinhyuk exclaims while gathering his stuff into his bag. 

Jaehyun laughs and nods, "You have no idea, hyung."

"At least we'll only film until 3PM tomorrow. You'll get to rest right after," he eyes him, concern written all over his face. "Unless…" 

Jaehyun's not one to make it obvious when he's running on empty, so he says nothing and offers him a defeated smile instead. When his manager had informed him about an early pack-up for Dear.M filming, he genuinely felt like he had never been so ecstatic about a schedule in his entire career, but when Jungwoo mentioned something about an online fansign at 5PM the same day, his celebration was cut short, to say the least.

Having individual schedules is a wonderful opportunity, especially for a rising star like him, and he's thankful for every blessing that came his way in 2020, so he can't really complain about his current set-up. But of course, as far as gratitude goes, he also gets tired, given that NCT had been promoting nonstop since October, not a day goes by that he fails to wish for at least a day of rest before he has to continue his crazy schedule once again. 

"Then you better get going so you'll have more time to rest when you get home," Jinhyuk reminds as he walks past. He checks his phone and gives Jaehyun a final look. "Great job today, Minho."

Jaehyun offers him a small wave, "See you in 8 hours, hyung." 

Once Jaehyun is alone again, he quickly rummages his bag for his phone. He hasn't gotten a hold of it since he took a break for dinner at 7PM. It's 11:30 now, and he's certain everyone he knows in his life has already messaged him about Dear.M teaser coming out earlier this evening. 

A soft (not really) "Fuck" escapes his mouth when his phone refuses to open despite trying his best to activate the device. He didn't even notice he was running out of battery while talking to his mom during dinner, reassuring her over and over that he's taking his vitamins well, and that he doesn't spend too much time on his phone once he's home because he still needs to rest. He sports a frown on his face as he shoves the rest of his stuff into his bag. Once he's done and ready to go, he sees their car parked at the driveway, headlights already turned on and ready to drive off. One last greeting to the hardworking staff and then he throws himself into the passenger seat of their company car. 

When his manager drives off, Jaehyun doesn't waste any second in plugging his phone into the built-in charger of the car and waits for it to turn on by itself. 

He hears his manager chuckle, "You must be so tired." 

Jaehyun hums in acknowledgement, "I'm _exhausted_ , hyung." 

"I'm sorry we can't move the fansign event to another day, Jaehyun," his manager says with sympathy laced in his voice. "The higher ups just won't relent." 

Jaehyun rolls his eyes and smiles, albeit lazily, "What's new?" 

He's relieved his manager doesn't add anything to his statement. They both know how harsh SM can be in terms of arranging their artists' schedules—overworking them to the core until their own body just gives up on them, Jaehyun knows the feeling. 

He knows he shouldn't complain nonetheless, because opportunities like the ones he's enjoying right now don't come very easily, much less frequently, so the least he can do is, just go with it and do well. 

He feels a vibration against his thigh where his phone is sitting, and upon realizing that it had in fact, finally turned on, he immediately goes to YouTube to watch the first ever Dear.M teaser that was released not too long ago. 

_780,000 views in 3 hours_. He gasps.

A smile works its way up on his face at the thought that suddenly registered into his mind. Finally, after years and years of yearning to be casted on a drama, he gets to star on his own as a main lead. Main lead!

"People went crazy after watching that," his manager says, motioning to his phone in his hands. "I bet your members flooded your group chat." 

Indeed, because when Jaehyun decides to operate his KakaoTalk, a series of " _CHA MINHO ACTOR", "WOW SO HANDSOME", "Minho pushover!"_ , and " _Actor Jung Jaehyun can I have your sign!_ " greets him upon entry. There are texts from his parents, his relatives both from Seoul and those who reside in Connecticut, his other friends from the industry, his NCT dongsaengs , and almost a thousand more from his 127 group chat. 

He patiently replies to them one by one, not forgetting to remind them to take care of themselves as well.

He can't help but roll his eyes when he finally opens his 127 group chat. As expected, Haechan and Yuta led their _make-fun-of-Jaehyun-while-still-supporting-him-vigorously-for-DearM_ agenda. He's almost sure those guys had to huddle at the 5th floor dorm to watch his 50-second teaser altogether. Jaehyun thinks it's extra—and completely unnecessary—but there's a warm feeling at the pit of his stomach with how they continuously show their support for him in this project. 

He remembers the two huge food trucks his members sent on set one day. He had five minutes left before he had to go back for a scene, but he made sure to let the whole world know how much of a family they really are by thanking his members through a quick Instagram live followed by a story captioned with 127 squad , in his very simple yet meaningful words. 

_Yuta: OOOOOOOHHHHH_

_Haechan: CHA MINHOOOO~_

_Johnny: "I knew it from seeing Ma Jooah's expression…that he has found her first love." OHHHHH_

_Jungwoo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH_

_Haechan: Hyung...what kind of person is Ma Jooah?_

_Taeil: Minho-ssi can I have your sign???_

_Yuta: LMAO who even writes confessions through school boards these days?_

_Doyoung: Our beloved Minho, apparently_

_Johnny: Yeah, but he still can't get the girl, apparently_

_Jungwoo: :OOOOO_

Jaehyun releases a huff once he's done reading the thread of texts from his members and prays that they're already in their respective rooms, if not asleep, when he arrives. Dealing with Jungwoo's jests in their room alone is a thousand times better than having to sit through the rest of his members lounging in the living area—ready to tease the fuck out of him just because his one-sided-love-recipient-ass can't win against a rich-CEO's-son-senior named Moon Jun for his best friend's love—both for his patience and sanity. 

He assumes Mark is asleep, hence his absence from the group's unprovoked (not really) taunting, or at the very least, had the decency to spare him from embarrassment, which compelled him to breathe a huge sigh of relief. On the other hand, he realizes that apart from Mark Lee, there is _another Lee_ who appears to be missing both in the group chat and his list of recently received texts. 

Jaehyun once again scans through his most recent messages, assuming he'd missed a text or two, but all of his messages have already been read and replied to. He silently wonders why Taeyong hadn't sent something other than a " _Don't forget your hot packs!_ " text this morning, but quickly dismisses the thought when he figures that the man must be tired.

Again, something to blame SM for. It's in Taeyong's nature to work himself to the bone, and as much as Jaehyun hates to see his favorite hyung (and person overall) fall sick because of exhaustion, he always ends up condemning their company for their lack of consideration towards their artists' health. 2020 was just too much for him, even more so for Taeyong—with the SuperM world tour, 127 comeback with a full album, Neozone repackage, the release of SuperM's first LP, a shitton of interviews and photoshoots, and ultimately, NCT 2020, which by the way, had way more content than any of their annual engagements combined. 

He understands that this is Taeyong's dream, and of course, as his member and partner , he would always be the first to support him in whatever he decides to do. Heck, he could print a huge ass banner with a Fighting, Taeyongie hyung! Love you! and have it posted somewhere in the safety of his own room just because he can. However, just like any other idol, Taeyong doesn't get to have a say with how his schedule works. If he has to face a camera with a feigned smile on his face despite the growing ache by his hips, he has to do it. If he has to answer a multitude of frivolous and unnecessary questions and do cringey-as-fuck aegyo during interviews despite having his body run on 80% caffeine, he has to pull himself together and do it. 

His poor Taeyong hyung who had to miss their live activities twice in 2020—first, the KBS Music Bank Festival back in June after he faced some backlash over an accusation that seems to be resurfacing every single year for an unknown reason, and the NCT 2020 Beyond Live in December. Their leader whose mantra is to put the team first before himself had to break that principle for his own health. 

Taeyong had once cried to him about it, two days before the new year when Jaehyun didn't have to film, saying that their members deserve a leader who is much stronger—physically and emotionally—someone who isn't too weak to deal with the basics of idol life, and most certainly, someone who isn't on the verge of breaking down all the time. Jaehyun, with all his strength, tried to console his leader and lover with the most reassuring words he could ever think of. He had softly wiped his tears away and ran his thumb over the skin of Taeyong's scar beside his eye. Ending with a gentle kiss to his forehead, Taeyong was sure of himself again. 

"Will you accompany me again tomorrow, hyung?" He asks his manager as they pull up at their building's parking lot. 

His manager nods, "We can leave at six, traffic won't be too bad tomorrow I suppose." 

They get to the elevator, and as they wait for it to open, Jaehyun feels a vibration from his pocket. He opens his phone and keys in the password for Kakaotalk (yes, his apps are encrypted, you can never be too safe) and a smile slowly works its way up to his face when he reads it. 

The elevator dings and his manager presses the 10th floor button. Jaehyun doesn't waste any second to press the 5th, earning him a confused look from the older. 

"Haechan stole my power bank yesterday, I just need it for tomorrow," he explains. He regards of a mental note reminding him to treat his younger member for some milk tea the next day after practically throwing him under the bus because for one, he, in fact, did not steal Jaehyun's power bank yesterday _(the younger had recently invested on a really expensive one)_ , and even if he did, he had certainly returned it more than a month ago. 

His manager stops for a moment before nodding. He's just as tired as Jaehyun so he relents and lets him be. Their managers, much less the company, don't know a single thing between him and Taeyong. Their relationship is something they can't possibly hide from their members, but with their help, they do try to keep it hidden from the rest of the world as much as they can. 

"Jinwoo hyung isn't there though," his manager says while tapping his foot slightly on the floor of the elevator. 

Jaehyun perks up, "He isn't?" 

Maybe he's too excited, maybe he's too eager. But no one can keep him from being that way after finding out that the other manager residing at the 5th floor isn't there. _Finally, freedom_. 

His manager shrugs, "No. He had to go home because his wife needed him. He'll be there tomorrow during the fansign, though." 

When they finally reach the 5th floor, Jaehyun steps out before waving at his manager, "I'll just go up later, hyung. You can sleep. Thank you."

"Just don't stay up too late, you're still supposed to be at the set by seven," he reminds him. "Good night, Jaehyun." 

Once his manager is out of sight, he quickly saunters towards the 127 unit, and since he knows the password— _thank you, Taeyong hyung_ — it doesn't take him long before he's in. The place is quiet, much to his delight, because he knows his members are in their rooms doing God knows what. He hears a faint pov by Ariana Grande playing in one of the quarters—probably Doyoung's—and there's a streak of light emanating at the space below the door of Haechan and Johnny's room. 

The first thing Jaehyun sees after removing his shoes and outer coat is Taeyong's fish tank propped atop one of the cabinets in the living room. He remembers TY's Communication Center, Taeyong's new segment on the NCT channel, where he assembled the said tank with Johnny and named his fish of different kinds one by one. 

_Apple, Orange, Kumquat, Kiwi, Cabbage, Pear, Stingray, Dratini, Dragonite_ , and a fish he is still yet to name. Jaehyun had once proposed to name the fish after him, but it's clear Taeyong doesn't like the idea. 

_"Jaehyun is for Jaehyun only. We can name this one something else—maybe Kimbap or something."_

Jaehyun smiles fondly at the memory. God, he misses Taeyong so much. 

Which brings him to the exact reason why he brought himself here instead of simply going straight to their dorm. Right, the man in question had asked him to. 

_From Bubu:_

_jaehyunnie are you home? can u pls head to our dorm? i have something for u (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)_

He smiled at the added emoji at the end. Jungwoo tried using those emoticons on him once, he almost blocked his number. 

He hears a shuffle by the kitchen, "Jae?" 

It doesn't take a genius to figure out whose voice suddenly spoke. He turns towards the kitchen where a faint light illuminates the area. He sees a figure quietly picking up bows and chopsticks from the cabinet, and the smell of really delicious Doenjang Jjigae suddenly whirls around the air. 

He walks closer with a smile on his face and before he knew it, he's already engulfed into a tight and homely hug by the person he's been anticipating to see since forever. 

"You're home," Taeyong says, his voice muffled from burying his face into Jaehyun's shoulder. 

_"I'm home."_

Taeyong looks at him, "Are you tired?" 

Jaehyun nods, "Tired, hyung." 

Their relationship runs on an ever-changing dynamic, with Taeyong being the baby (the little spoon, if you will) most of the time. But seeing as how he's this close from sleeping with his eyes wide open because of fatigue, he lets himself be babied. 

Taeyong pinches Jaehyun's cheeks, poking softly at the dimples showing themselves whenever his lover breaks into a smile. "Let me take care of you, yeah? I cooked you something. Have you eaten?" 

Jaehyun nods before glancing at the dining table once, "Haven't since we watched the teaser together earlier. 7 pm I think?"

Taeyong frowns, "Then you must be hungry, come here, eat this." 

They talk about his day and Jaehyun lets himself be taken care of by Taeyong through dinner—adding more kimchi when he's running out, offering him water because he can't consume coffee at this hour or else he'll never get to sleep before he has to wake up again, or even feeding him occasionally because when will he ever get the chance to be alone with Taeyong again? 

"Is it good?" 

"Mmm," Jaehyun hums in acknowledgement. " _Sho delicioush_." 

Taeyong watches him in awe and admires the way his cheeks puff up with food stuffed inside his mouth, and even so, his dimples still find their way to display themselves by the corners of his mouth. He reaches out and wipes some of the soup that has splattered across Jaehyun's face when he was too eager to devour the meal. 

"Eat slowly, you have all the time in the world." Not really. His manager might be waiting for him to arrive upstairs and Jungwoo must be fighting his battle against drifting off to sleep, anticipating his presence in their room (to annoy him with his teaser, what else?). But Taeyong doesn't say anything. He knows, just by seeing Jaehyun's eyes once—correction: he doesn't even have to look at him—that he's beat, exhaustion on full display. 

Jaehyun swallows the food before speaking, "Love you, hyung." _Thank you, hyung._

Taeyong stares in his eyes hiding behind those bags of weariness and fatigue. He's still so beautiful, Taeyong thinks. 

"I love you too, Jae." 

Jaehyun remains seated as Taeyong washes the dishes. He offered to help, but Taeyong respectfully declined by kissing him roughly on the lips. He utters a quick apology in his mind to the rest of his members who are resting peacefully in their own rooms for their vulgarity. 

"Have you watched?" 

Taeyong turns his head for a second before proceeding into wiping their dishes clean, "Watched what?" 

Jaehyun's eyebrows shoot up at Taeyong's reply, "Didn't you know—"

"Of course I knew!" Taeyong interrupts, quickly wiping his hands with a clean towel before standing in front of his boyfriend, "You know I can't miss it for the world. I even had an alarm five minutes before it was released." 

He smiles as he feels the familiar warmth pooling at his stomach, he even swears he might pass out from swooning anytime soon. "Really?"

"Really," Taeyong says with finality as he rakes Jaehyun's soft brown locks with his hands. "Can't wait to watch you on the 26th." 

He feels a kiss on the top of his head before he realizes Taeyong is already tugging him to stand up. 

"Your room, hyung?" 

Taeyong turns to him, still holding his hand as they toe towards the latter's bedroom, _"Our room."_

Jaehyun feels elated, and so so light. It's like all the exhaustion radiating off his body had been easily stripped away by a simple sentence coming out of Taeyong's mouth. He's so in love with him, and not even an ounce of his entire being is capable of expressing how he truly feels. Even he is unsure himself. 

Taeyong gestures to his bed before locking the door. He sits on the soft mattress right beside his boyfriend. This isn't his first time being alone with Taeyong at this ungodly hour in his room. His fingers and toes aren't enough to count the number of times this has happened. His manager's most likely asleep now and Jungwoo definitely won't mind having their room all for himself tonight, so it probably won't hurt to stay a bit longer. 

"Would you like to change? I still have your hoodies I haven't returned to you, you know," Taeyong suggests. 

Jaehyun shakes his head however as scoots closer and snakes his arms around Taeyong. His boyfriend swiftly hugs him back, nosing at his neck up to his jaw. 

"Jaehyun…?"

Jaehyun stays quiet, a silent cry for all the burdens weighing him down. On the outside he may seem fine, but on the inside he's spent, jaded, one schedule away from getting drained out for himself. 

" _How are you_ , Jaehyunnie?" Taeyong asks, and he means it in such a way that's beyond the superficial level where one can safely answer a simple _I'm fine, you?_ — he means it in a way where he genuinely wants to know how Jaehyun is doing, how he's still holding on, or if he needs to be his pillar because Jaehyun is too frail to stand up on his own feet. 

"Hyung," Jaehyun calls. "Taeyong hyung."

Taeyong hoists himself up to provide more stability in their position. He sits half seated on his bed while Jaehyun completely buries his face into his neck, murmuring sweet nothings only Taeyong can comprehend. He languidly strokes Jaehyun's back, offering little kisses to his shoulder and the side of his head. 

"I'm tired, hyung." 

Taeyong attempts to turn his head, albeit futile, because he's only met with the planes of Jaehyun's soft skin, "Would telling me about it make you feel better?"

Taeyong knows that a way to a healthy relationship is to maintain two-way communication. It never works when there's only one exerting efforts to make the relationship work. And with the line of their jobs entailed with sudden overseas flights and chancy schedules, the only way they can both last is to communicate. 

So far, they'd been diligent in letting the other know how he feels, or if there's a sudden engagement and they have to inevitably postpone a call or a date in Taeyong's room, but as far as communication goes, they both know that privacy is a liberty neither of them can take from the other. Jaehyun needs his personal space, and Taeyong is always willing to give it. 

Except that Jaehyun beat him to it. 

"Hyung, I'm so tired," he mutters once again. Taeyong already can feel the slight warmth against his right shoulder where Jaehyun is resting his head. Jesus, his boyfriend is crying.

"Shh, I know. I know, my love," he says. "I know." 

Jaehyun pulls away with his head down. His own fingers are dancing along the hem of his shirt, and he quickly brings a hand up to wipe fresh tears. "Can I tell you, hyung?"

Taeyong's eyes dilate in surprise, "You don't even have to ask, sweetheart." Whatever, or whoever made Jaehyun feel like he has to ask permission for things like this, he _will_ end them.

Jaehyun looks up, eyes all red and cheeks sticky with dried tears. He breathes in, "Hyung."

"Hmm?" 

"I'm scared," he mumbles. "I might not be able to give the fans what they're expecting me to offer." 

Taeyong stays quiet. He reaches for Jaehyun's trembling hands and intertwines them with his own. Jaehyun needs this, and this might be the only time they'll ever get to sit down and talk like this, he lets him continue.

"The cast—they're all so good, hyung. The others have so much more experience than me and I'm so scared to mess this up. We had to take five today because I couldn't get my damn line right. It's just one simple line, hyung and I...I kept messing up. Our director had to sit me down and ask me what the fuck's been bugging me lately but I can't say anything because I literally have no idea why I'm being like this! I'm tired of all of this but I can't give it up because this is my dream and I've shed so much of my blood just to get this," Jaehyun says without pause. "But I just...I'm so tired, hyung." 

This time, Taeyong is the one to scoot over, leaning towards his lover until he's facing him completely. He carefully runs the pad of his thumb across Jaehyun's cheeks to wipe the tears away before kissing his temples softly. "Jaehyun." 

"And this, this schedule that I have. Everyday it's like I'm coming down with a fever but then it goes away and then I wake up the next day and feel it all over again. I haven't been able to sleep for more than 5 hours since we began filming and our schedules with NCT hasn't even concluded," he pauses as he tries to bite back a sob. "Tomorrow we have an online fansign and I'm just scared to face the fans with the little energy I have left. Hyung, I don't want that. I want to give as much love as I can to them, but how can I do that when I'm also lacking myself? I'm exhausted, hyung. I really am." 

Taeyong nods, completely aware of the reason why Jaehyun thinks this way. Days ago, he had been caught up with an issue surrounding the online fansign they did not too long ago. Someone claimed and he quotes, _he's too unenthusiastic with the way he responds_. He even dodges a fan's advances. He thinks it's ridiculous. Jaehyun is tired, he's frustrated, but he most certainly didn't do anything wrong. He can answer questions about music, acting, and his future plans, but what he can't do is succumb to these "fans" acting like they're talking to their husbands for the life of them. 

And the acting, God, if Taeyong knows one thing about Jaehyun, it's that he will do well no matter what as long as he sets his mind to it. A drama, in a business perspective, is a huge investment for a company. Its performance on the market and with the way people receive it determine the profit they'll obtain. They wouldn't cast someone they think is an absolute waste of money, would they? That much, Taeyong knows. And Jaehyun--Jaehyun is hardworking. Years and years of training and working with him were enough to prove it. And becoming an actor is his dream, his aspiration, his now or never, and it pains him thinking that of all people that will doubt his abilities, it's him who does it to himself unmercilessly, bringing himself to the lowest of the low to the point even he couldn't get himself to stand up without crying for help. 

"Jaehyun…" 

"Hyung I'm sorry," Jaehyun sobs, interrupting Taeyong. "I know I should be grateful because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity but I just can't…I hate this feeling and I want to get rid of it but I'm so tired. I'm so tired and scared, hyung. What do I do?" 

Taeyong places his lips on the corner of Jaehyun's lips before speaking, "Baby, you're doing so well." He pulls away and locks his gaze into Jaehyun's eyes, "Acting, it's your dream right? You've worked hard for it, you deserve it. Curse those who think otherwise."

Jaehyun, for a moment, stops trembling as he rouses himself up to bury his face into Taeyong's neck once again. 

Taeyong continues, "Baby, remember that you became a part of the drama because the people who have worked in that field for years know that you'll give justice to Cha Minho, because otherwise, why would they have picked you if they think you'll fuck it up? It means they have so much trust in you, Jaehyun. The fans do, NCT, your friends and your family do, too. _I do_ ," he mutters, his voice barely a whisper. "You should, too, baby." 

"Hyung, I—"

Taeyong interrupts him with a finger on his lips followed by a peck, "Listen to me, if you feel tired from work, come to me and I will take care of you. You know that, right?" Taeyong asks. When he feels Jaehyun nod, he continues, "I'll take care of you, cook you whatever you want for that day, give you hugs, probably even a massage but you know how bony my fingers are," he pauses, there's a glint of playfulness in there somewhere, but now is not the time. "I'll reassure you over and over that you're doing just fine. That you're doing so, so well. And all you need to do is just be you. " 

Jaehyun pulls away and hesitates, "But the fans…" 

Taeyong studies him, "What about the fans?"

"What if they won't be satisfied? What if they leave?" 

Taeyong shrugs, pulling him close once again, "Who cares if they leave? Jaehyunnie, real fans will never leave even if you feel like you didn't do enough." He strokes Jaehyun's locks and feels him melt into his touch, "Real fans will stay as long as you stay true to yourself and not hurt others with your words and actions. Real fans will love you even if you're not the Prince Yuno, even if you fail to be the perfect Jeong Jaehyun they once loved you for."

He lets go but pauses halfway, just enough to see Jaehyun eye to eye, "And baby, you're doing so, so well. I'm proud of you, that much, I know." 

Jaehyun breaks into a soft smile and Taeyong's heart somersaults at the sight of Jaehyun's real happiness showing up on his face. _It looks good on him_ , he thinks. 

Taeyong can't count the number of times he broke down in front of Jaehyun. He couldn't bear doing it in front of his members, certainly not to their managers, but to Jaehyun, it's so easy. To Jaehyun, it's facile, undemanding, freeing. He promised himself once that he'll offer everything he can give to Jaehyun the way he always does once they switch positions. _Jaehyun is always there for me, I promise to be there for him, too._

Jeong Jaehyun, the perfect man of every girl's wildest dreams. Always proper, eloquent, smart, put together, a little goofy to count for some humor, and never falters. He's always been conditioned to be perfect—more so, "prince-like". Not once did he fail to do just that in his five years in the business, but to wear his heart on his sleeves and lay himself bare for him tonight, Taeyong swears he's willing to do this a thousand nights over and a million times more—assure him, tell him that what he's doing is more than enough, and that he's proud of him. 

_Always, in all ways._

Thirty minutes after what seemed to be the longest fifteen-minute talk in his life, Jaehyun finds himself tucked in the comfort of Taeyong's weighted blankets. Taeyong, to absolutely no one's surprise, succeeded in convincing him to stay the night and just wake up early for his schedule. He wears one of his hoodies Taeyong had kept for safekeeping and one of his boyfriend's pajamas with baby alpacas printed on them because Taeyong almost fought with him for even considering sleeping in the boxers he used for the day. _That's so gross and unsanitary_ , the clean freak in Taeyong says, scrutinizing him for his proposed outfit for the night. 

They brushed their teeth together as well, with the toothbrush Jaehyun brings with him to the set, and washed their faces with Taeyong's face wash—after months and months of debating whose face wash brand they should use when Jaehyun stays over, they eventually agreed on using Jaehyun's. Taeyong always wanted to have a skin like his boyfriend's, anyway (and besides, it's 100% organic). 

Taeyong comes back with a box of pain relief patches, sporting an oversized white shirt paired with pajama pants that had boba balls printed on them. Jaehyun realized just now that his boyfriend is, for some reason, not only a collector of random toys, fish, and shoes, but also has a growing collection of pajama sets with cartoon drawings printed all over them. He notes that the shirt is in fact, his. Taeyong rummaged through his closet once, asking Jaehyun for some white shirts _(What? He never uses them anyways!_ ). He didn't expect Taeyong to pull out at least ten of his white shirts, but he did, and it quickly became his brand, wearing only his shirts when he's home. 

"Hyung, why do you have so many pain relief patches?"

Taeyong raises his legs and sits by Jaehyun's side. His back rests by the bed frame, Jaehyun looks up and he can't help but admire his beauty even in the dark. The light is long turned off, and the only thing illuminating his room is the small rose nightlight sitting by his bedside table. 

"I got these last week, although these are remotely new. Remember how I always complained about my shoulder pain?" Jaehyun nods. "Well, these helped a lot." 

"And you have them now for…?"

Taeyong shrugs before opening the box and pulling out two patches and waving them in front of Jaehyun's face, "I'll use them on you, stupid." 

Before Jaehyun could retaliate, Taeyong speaks again "These helped me a lot. Not sure if it helped HELPED or just made me feel better, but I'd give credit to these folks for my other worldly performances this year," he says with a smug. 

"I don't feel any pain though," Jaehyun states, his hands quickly padding his muscles on his shoulder, arms, or calves. 

Taeyong rolls his eyes, "Trust me, baby, this works like magic." 

Jaehyun releases a boisterous laugh at Taeyong's choice of words, "Okay. Where will you put it?" 

Taeyong reckons for a moment before he points to Jaehyun, "Lie on your stomach." 

"Excuse me?" 

He receives another eye roll and a smack on his arm with the box. Jaehyun wondered why for a brief moment before realizing what Taeyong had actually meant. 

"One moment you're wailing from exhaustion and now you have so much energy to entertain explicit thoughts!" 

Jaehyun winks at him before following Taeyong's command (wait, that also didn't sound right, did it?). He toys at the hem of Taeyong's (his) shirt as the older lifts his hoodie up before peeling the film off of one. 

In an instant, Jaehyun feels a soothing coolness in his lower back. He closes his eyes, melting against the icy feeling of the patch stuck to his back. He hums, "Wow." 

Taeyong smirks, "Feels great huh?" 

Jaehyun nods before opening his one eye and looks at Taeyong, "Why don't you put one to yourself too?" 

"I'm not sore anywhere though." 

Jaehyun chuckles at the hidden meaning behind their exchange. If another person sat down, heedless to the context of their conversation, they'd most likely assume they're pertaining to very, very provocative things. 

"Yeah but you said it makes you feel better," he muses, earning him another smack from the older. 

"Shut up before I kick you out of my room." 

Jaehyun laughs, "Okay, I'll stop. But I'm serious too, Bubu. You should put one on yourself as well." 

Taeyong contemplates for a moment, "Very well. It's hard to take care of you, Jeong Yuno." 

He huffs as he sits up, motioning his lover to turn around, "As if taking care of you is easier." 

He receives a grunt in return. It's completely normal for them to bicker like this. When one complains the other tries to outwin them, but they always end up making out—or cuddling, if they're trying to be wholesome—in the end. 

"I should be the one taking care of you though," Taeyong protests. 

"I know, love. And I feel so much better already," he says as he peels the sticker off before gauging where he needs to place it on his lover's skin. "And taking care of you relieves me, too. So let me do it for you, yeah?" 

Jaehyun kisses Taeyong's nape, right above where he stuck the patch. He wraps his arms around Taeyong and kisses the shell of his ear, "One for you, one for me. See? That's how love is, Bubu." 

Taeyong doesn't answer. Instead, he turns around and lies down on his bed. Jaehyun stares at him for a while with a smile on his face before following suit. He softly reaches for Jaehyun's face, while the latter is quick to snake his arm around his waist, pulling him closer. 

"Thanks for taking care of me, baby," Jaehyun says, his lips touching the expanse of Taeyong's temple. 

Taeyong hums in acknowledgement, "You're welcome, Hyunnie." 

They stay like that for a while, and before Taeyong can confirm that his boyfriend had already fallen into slumber, his question had definitely caught him off guard. 

"What?"

"I said, do you already have a gift for me, hyung?" 

Taeyong gulps. It's Jaehyun's birthday and also Valentine's day in less than two weeks, and his birthday gift is still yet to arrive. Johnny helped him pick it out because he had bought it from an American website, and just like any other overseas purchases go, it takes an eternity to arrive. He fears that Jaehyun might not receive something from him on his special day—Jaehyun insists he doesn't need to gift him anything though. But still.

"It's a secret," he says. Yeah. It's definitely a secret. Both for Jaehyun and himself. He has zero idea when it'll arrive. 

Jaehyun eyes him, "You don't have to get me anything, you know." 

"Why do you keep on saying that?" 

"Because _you_ are the gift."

Taeyong almost screeches as he pulls Jaehyun's ear, "You're so fucking full of cheese, Jeong Jaehyun." 

Jaehyun chuckles, "I love you, Bubu. Babe, Taeyongie hyung." 

Taeyong glowers, "I hate you. But I love you all the same. My baby Jeong Yuno. My actor Cha Minho. My love Jeong Jaehyun." 

"Who's fucking full of cheese now, hyung?" 

"Shut up. Go to sleep." 

Jaehyun wakes up with a grunt. It may or may not have been a great idea to stay up way past midnight earlier with Taeyong who's still sleeping soundly beside him. Taeyong had clearly instructed Jaehyun to wake him up so he could cook him breakfast before he has to leave for filming, but given that his lover is currently nuzzled in his arms whilst snoring softly, he decides against it. 

He reaches for his phone and reads the time. It's 5:10 am , and he needs to be in the car by six. He heaves a deep sigh, cursing the gods who thought it'd be fun to watch him struggle in the morning. Sleepiness and fatigue aside, the weather makes it so much harder to get the fuck up and start preparing for the day. 

All he wants to do is cuddle with his boyfriend the entire day, God. Once DearM is over, he promises to spare one (1) day for him and Taeyong only. No schedules, no "I need to be at the company", no shoots, interviews, lives—just an easy day with his Taeyong hyung curled up against him, watching Netflix (maybe) or cleaning his fish tank together. 

He admires Taeyong for a while. The serene look he has in his eyes—he imagines Taeyong's big boba-like eyes gazing at him when he tries to plead for something—the slope of his nose, his cheeks, the trace of his jaw, his lips that are slightly chapped from the cold air, and the outlines of his scar just beside his eye. God, he's so beautiful. And he's blessed . So, so blessed. 

Jaehyun pushes Taeyong's hair away from his forehead just a little before planting a soft kiss on his temple. The man stirs in his sleep lightly, seeking warmth from Jaehyun's body. He whispers a soft I love you before he carefully pushes himself off the bed and makes sure his boyfriend's body is entirely covered with a blanket. He toes his way towards the heater and cranks it higher just so more heat could radiate in the room. A smile works its way onto his face at the sight of Taeyong hugging his pink jellycat bunny plushie. It helps him alleviate the pain in his waist and hip, and Jaehyun prays his lover gets better soon. 

"Cut! Great job, everyone! Let's take five before the next scene," their director declares. Everyone present on set scrams and heads towards the food trucks provided by the casts' fans and friends. 

"You seem to be in a good mood today," Yoon Jinsol, or the actress playing Cha Minho's older sister, tells Jaehyun as she enters the waiting area. She sees him already seated on his foldable chair, propped next to the portable heater. 

Jaehyun smiles, "Hmm. Had a great sleep." 

She laughs before grabbing her wallet inside her bag, "In that case won't ask anymore." She heads to the entrance and turns to Jaehyun, "The others and I will head to the trucks." 

Jaehyun waves at her, "I'll just stay here, noona." 

When Jaehyun is alone again, he activates his phone (fully charged, thank heavens) before opening the texts he received from the person he left just a few hours ago. It's past 9 am now, and filming has been going so well. He aced his lines and his scenes with the other leads finished faster than the actual time frame, giving him extra minutes of break time and rest. 

The director praised him, too. He mentally patted himself on the back at the compliment he received from the staff. Today's a much better day, he supposes. And all he needed was that extra push from his favorite person.

He smiles upon reading the series of messages. 

_From Bubu:_

_i told u to wake me up!! ಠωಠ i didn't even get to kiss u before u left_

_how dare u, jaehyunnie :( :(_

_but u cooked breakfast 🥺🥺 thank u baby_

_i love u_

_and i miss u <3 _

_cha minho fighting !!_

He quickly types a reply before he's called outside once again. He has a scene with Park Haneul and Gil Mokjin in five minutes so he quickly keeps his phone inside his bag and exits the tent. 

The rays of sunlight hit Jaehyun square in his eyes. He squints lightly and walks over to where his co-actors are standing. They're briefed and blocked regarding the scene they're about to take and Jaehyun listens carefully. 

Today is indeed a great day, and all he needed was the light push from his favorite person. 

Jaehyun sits idly inside their car as he waits for his members to go down from the dorms. He had just finished his birthday live thirty minutes ago, and now he and his manager are to fetch the rest of his members for the dinner he had promised after their birthday surprise at 12 midnight. 

Arbitrarily, his birthday this year landed on a Sunday, which only meant that he'd get a happy birthday greeting from almost all artists they had to interview in between performances for Inkigayo. Today's theme is of course, Valentine's day. Hearts decorated each corner of SBS, ranging from posters, stickers, garlands, balloons, and even a huge ass teddy bear by the broadcast station's lobby. 

The Inkigayo PD was kind enough to throw a small party for the "Inkigayo's son". They had surprised him at the waiting room with peach-shaped balloons and a mountain of strawberry-flavored cupcakes, all for him. There's a huge Happy birthday to our Hyunnie sign plastered on the wall with pictures of his face (baby Jaehyun in a _hanbok_ included) replacing each 'o' vowel. 

He startles at the two sudden knocks on the window. There's a flash of apprehension in his system (courtesy of the crazy stalkers who don't know the concept of privacy—he's done with them, honestly) but is quickly replaced by a surge of relief upon realizing who it is. 

"Hyung," he calls before opening the door of the backseat. 

Taeyong sits beside him, ultimately deciding that they'd take the same car. Jaehyun notices the black box in his hands, but he doesn't dare to ask. "I told the others to give us five minutes. They're distracting manager hyungs." 

Jaehyun raises a brow, "Five minutes?" 

Taeyong breathes deeply, "Remember when you asked me if I already have a gift for you?" 

"Yes," Jaehyun faces him, completely aware of where this conversation is going. "Hyung, I told you, you don't—"

Taeyong stops him from talking with a finger on his lips, "I know. But guess what?"

"What…?"

"I got this from the US and it had finally arrived today," Taeyong smiles. "Honestly it'll still be considered a birthday gift regardless of when I'd be able to give it to you. But since it miraculously arrived this morning, I'd give it to you now."

Motioning to the box, Taeyong patiently waits as Jaehyun tries to maneuver his hands around it considering their car is devoid of any lighting save for the parking lot's feeble ones.

When he finally sees its content, Jaehyun gapes at Taeyong, completely frozen in place. 

"Do you…" Taeyong stutters. "Do you like it?" 

Jaehyun breaks into a smile before throwing his arms around Taeyong, paying no heed to the lack of space in the back seat. "Hyung, I love it. Thank you. Thank you, Taeyongie hyung." 

"I'm glad," Taeyong hugs him back. "Why don't you wear it?" 

"Can you put it on me?" 

When Taeyong nods, Jaehyun lifts his forearm just enough for his lover to reach his wrist. Taeyong grabs the object still embedded in the box and softly strokes the metal in front of Jaehyun. 

"That's a rose," Jaehyun states, still eyeing the silver bracelet adorning Taeyong's fingertips. He almost cries right then and there at the sight of a rose engraved at the center of the band. He looks at Taeyong, "Hyung you…"

Taeyong wraps the metal around Jaehyun's wrist, "The reason why this took forever to arrive is because I had to have it customized. Can you believe it? I ordered this last November, November! It's February now." 

Jaehyun feels a pang of vehemence in his chest. What could he have possibly done in his past life to deserve a man like Taeyong? He loves him too much. Too much. 

"There," Taeyong declares as soon as he's clipped the bracelet in place. It looks so beautiful on his wrist, and that rose outline which shows whenever the light hits it compels the butterflies in Jaehyun's stomach to flutter. 

"I love you, Bubu," Jaehyun says, cupping Taeyong's cheeks with both hands. 'Thank you."

Taeyong closes their distance with a brief kiss on his lover's lips. He's thankful there isn't much light in this area of the parking lot, and their car is eminently tinted, or else their careers would've been over by now. 

"I love you too, my love." 

They press their foreheads together, and for what feels like an eternity, Jaehyun lets his hand fondle at the expanse of Taeyong's neck. "Is this new?" 

Taeyong looks down before realizing what Jaehyun had just discovered. He pulls away and tugs at the silver metal between Jaehyun's fingers. He smiles at the younger, knowing well how he's going to take it, "It's similar to yours." 

Jaehyun stares at Taeyong for a moment. He lifts his arm to meet the side of Taeyong's neck. Together, they connect the pendants of the strings of metal gracing their skin. Beside the rose outline of his bracelet, there's also a faint peach defined at the very center. Like the jewelry on his wrist, Taeyong's necklace is also embellished with a light trace of gold by the sides, framing each pendant with intricacy. Taeyong must've had this customized, too. 

"Couple items?" 

Taeyong chuckles, "Technically, they're different. People can see us wearing these and conclude that they're just very simple jewelry. They can't even see the drawings because they're so faint," he pinches his cheek. "But it doesn't matter. What matters is us. These are simple, but they're _us_." 

Jaehyun's heart might explode any moment now, "Hyung these are so expensive. And you even got yourself one. I bet these cost you so much." 

Taeyong shakes his head, "Doesn't matter how much I spent for you. And I wanted one for myself with you on it. Makes it even more special." He runs the pad of his finger across the two figures, "You said it before. One for you, one for me." 

Jaehyun lets out a laugh. He doesn't miss the two approaching figures towards their car, and quickly recognizes them as Jungwoo and Mark. Five minutes has gone by? Before they can even reach the both of them and ruin their alone time, he quickly grabs Taeyong by the neck before planting a soft kiss on his lips. 

"Hyung, thank you. This is the best gift ever. I love you. Happy Valentine's day. I love you. I love you, hyung." 

"I'm glad you loved it. You're welcome, baby. Happy birthday, my love." 

Before they even know it, Mark is already knocking at the door. They share a look and laugh amongst themselves. Jungwoo eyes them weirdly before throwing himself into the last row beside Mark. 

"Both of you are weird," he says. 

Taeyong and Jaehyun laugh once again. They don't know why, but what has transpired between them moments ago will forever be written in their hearts, if not for the silver proofs adorning their skin. 

Jaehyun is thankful for Taeyong. 

Taeyong loves Jaehyun too much. 

One for you, one for me. 

That's how love is, isn't it? 

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!! please leave kudos and comments if u can :)) interact w me on [twt!](https://twitter.com/jycashewnuts/)  
> support DearM's first EP on the 26th 23:10KST!! and NCT 127's loveholic out on the 17th!! :))


End file.
